When to Send Bridal Shower Invitations (and When the RSVP Date Should Be)

Send bridal shower invitations 4 to 6 weeks before the shower, and ask for replies about 2 weeks before it. Guests who have to travel should hear about the date earlier, around two months out, by text or a call, with the printed invitation following on the usual schedule.

That 4 to 6 week window is the middle of what etiquette and stationery sources advise. Bliss & Bone puts it at four to six weeks with an informal heads-up for travelers about two months ahead, and Claudia Owen also says 4 to 6 weeks, moving to 6 to 8 weeks when guests are traveling, the shower is near a holiday or the event is formal.

What each source says

The sources we read disagree by a few weeks. Here is what each one says, with its travel or destination advice kept apart from its standard window:

For a standard shower with mostly local guests, the windows run from three weeks at the latest to six to eight weeks at the earliest, and the 4 to 6 week answer sits where most of them overlap. Pick the early end if you are mailing paper invitations or the shower falls near a holiday; the late end works for a small, local, texted guest list.

Travel changes the numbers. For guests who fly in, Bliss & Bone suggests a heads-up about two months ahead, and Paperlust says a destination shower needs eight to ten weeks at minimum, and twelve weeks is even better when guests book flights, hotels and time off. For a destination shower Paperlust also moves the RSVP deadline to 6-8 weeks before the event, so the host can confirm rooms while a hotel block is still open.

A count-back calendar from your shower date

Start from the shower date and count back. The weeks below follow the sources above; swap in your own date.

Worked example (illustrative dates)

Say the shower is on Saturday, May 15, 2027, and two aunts are flying in. Counting back in whole weeks:

• Saturday, March 20: text the two aunts the date (8 weeks before).
• Saturday, April 3: mail the invitations (6 weeks before). With up to 10 days in the post, they arrive by about April 13, still more than 4 weeks ahead.
• Saturday, April 17: last day to send any invitation that is going by text or email (4 weeks before).
• Saturday, May 1: reply-by date printed on the invitation (2 weeks before).
• Monday, May 3: message anyone who has not answered.
• Saturday, May 8: final count to the caterer (1 week before).

Print the reply-by date on the invitation itself. "Kindly reply by Saturday, May 1" is clearer than "two weeks before".

When the shower is close to the wedding

Sources also differ on how far the shower sits from the wedding. The Emily Post Institute puts it at two months to two weeks before the wedding, while Registry Finder says a shower is typically held two to four months before the wedding. Either way, the two sets of invitations can overlap. Wedding invitations should land six to eight weeks before the wedding, according to Bliss & Bone, which also advises sending the shower invitations first so they reach guests ahead of the wedding invitations.

If the shower is only two or three weeks before the wedding, guests already have the wedding date, so the shower invitation mostly needs to be early enough to plan a gift and a free afternoon. Send it at the early end of the window.

Other sending etiquette

• Shower guests are wedding guests. The Emily Post Institute says normally anyone invited to a shower would be invited to the wedding, with an office shower thrown by co-workers as the exception. Check the shower list against the wedding list before anything goes out.
• Paper, email or a phone call are all acceptable. Inside Weddings says it is fine to send paper or emailed invitations, or even to make phone calls.
• The host sends them, not the bride. Replies go to the host too.
• The bridal party gets invitations. Registry Finder's list of who to definitely invite starts with the bridesmaids, close friends, local relatives and immediate family, and they get the invitation like everyone else.
• Registry goes on a separate card. Emily Post allows registry information with (but not on) the invitation.

For the words themselves, see our bridal shower invitation wording guide, with sample wording by shower type. The bridal shower checklist puts the invitation dates alongside the rest of the planning.

Printing your own invitations

Printing at home shortens the timeline: there is no shop proof or shipping to wait for, so you can print the week you mail. The Bridal Shower Invitation with Details Card and Recipe Card gives you a 5 × 7 in invitation (2 per sheet, with crop marks) and a 3.5 × 5 in details card for the reply, registry, getting there and attire details. Its offline personaliser (personalise.html) also saves a 1080 × 1350 px phone image of the invitation, for guests you invite by text. We did not test-print, cut or mail these files, and printer colour and paper handling vary, so print a test sheet first and leave a day for that before your send date.